The victim as ally – We can’t deny what we feel. If we are feeling victimised, we need to ask ourselves what message this feeling is trying to convey. What do we have to do to stop feeling victimised? Again, it’s about being in control of our own lives – it’s not about the other person. So in any situation where you feel victimised, you can now stop and think in a different way – you can see things in a different way. You have the choice to be friends with your victim, to see that it’s here to help you. It’s not here to make you feel bad about yourself. Its purpose is to give you a signal: ‘Hey, your boundaries are low – do some work on them.’ Any time in our lives when we feel our survival energy is being harmed, the victim kicks in. It comes as a helper, and it says, ‘Listen, you need to create stronger boundaries because you’re getting too much interference.’ So that’s the energy of the victim – it’s a helper: ‘Hey, you need to respect yourself more and hold your ground.’ That’s the real voice of the victim and the real purpose of the victim energy.
Understanding the message of the victim – Once you know this, and you’ve learned how to work with this energy, life is so much easier. With this new awareness, you are now able to see which situations are offering you the choice to create better boundaries. So really listen to your victim and give it credit – it’s a good thing. It’s giving you a signal about what you need to do. Be friends with it. If you don’t know, for instance, that you’re allergic to strawberries, and you eat them and then get a rash all over, that’s your body saying, ‘Listen, don’t eat strawberries, because they don’t agree with you.’ So the victim is like the rash. It’s saying, ‘Hey, you! Create a stronger emotional boundary, because if you don’t, you’re going to get hurt.’ The victim is saying, ‘Get out of this situation right now, because it’s not good for you.’ Because the victim archetype has been put down so much, a lot of us don’t want to be that person – we don’t want to be the weepy person in the corner. But once we understand the message of the victim, we find that the power of the lesson it teaches is amazing.